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Episode 142a (The Little Shop Of Horrors)
Narrator: "On the 23rd day of the month of September...in an early year of a decade not too long before our own...the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence. And this terrifying enemy surfaced,as such enemies often do...in the semmingly most innocent and unlikely of places." (Song: Little Shop Of Horrors) Lobster Girls: "Little shop,little shoppa horrors. Little shop,little shoppa terror. Call a cop. Little shoppa horrors. No,oh,oh,no-oh! Little shop,little shoppa horrors. Bop sh'bop,little shoppa terror. Watch 'em drop! Little shoppa horrors. No,oh,oh,no-oh! Shing-a-ling,what a creepy thing to be happening! Shang-a-lang,feel the sturm and drang in the air. Sha-la-la,stop right where you are. Don't you move a thing. You better. You better. Tellin' you,you better. Tell your mama,something gonna get 'er. She better. Everybody better. Beware!" Ronnette: "Come-a,come-a,come-a." Lobster Girls: "Little shop,little shoppa horrors. Bop sh-bop,you'll never stop the terror. Little shop,little shoppa horrors. No,oh,oh,no,oh,oh,no,oh,oh,no!" (Song ends) Gil was trying to organize things on the shelf when the shelf falls on him. After that came a crash. Mr Grouper:(shouts)"Gil,what's going on down there?" Gil: "Very little,Mr Grouper!" Gil gets up and dusts himself off and puts the radio on. He starts cleaning up his mess. Radio: "...and at his press conference today,President Kennedy fielded questions...concerning last Thursday's total eclipse of the sun...an astrological phenomenon which had baffled the nation." Molly enters. Mr Grouper: "Ah,so she finally decides to come to work!" Molly: "Oh,good morning,Mr Grouper." Mr Grouper: "What morning? It's almost closing time. Not that we had a customer."(sighs) Crash! Mr Grouper: "Gil,what in the world is going on down there? Molly,would you go down and see what's he-"(notices Molly's black eye)"Where did you get that shiner?" Molly: "Oh,uh,shiner?" Mr Grouper: "Molly,that greasy boyfriend of yours is beating up on you again? Look,I know it's none of my business...but I'm beginning to think maybe he's not such a nice boy." Gil: "I got these pots unloaded for you,Mr-" Gil falls and the pots crashed to the floor. Mr Grouper: "Gil,look what you've done to the inventory!" Molly:(staring at Gil)"Don't yell at Gil,Mr Grouper." Gil: "Hi Molly,you look radiant today. Is that new eye make-up?" Molly: "Oh! I'll help him clean it up before any of the customers get here." Mr Grouper: "That should give you plenty of time. Oh,man,what an existence I got! Misfit employees,bums on the sidewalk...business is lousy. My life is boring!"(notices Lobster Girls outside the shop)"Hey,you. Girls! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Move! Move! Move! Go away! No loitering!" Ronette: "Man! I wasn't loitering. Were you,Crystal?" Crystal: "Not me,Ronette. Were you,Chiffon?" Mr Grouper: "You ought to be in school!" Chiffon: "Yeah! Well,we were on a split shift." Ronette: "Right! We went to school until fifth grade,then we split." Mr Grouper: "So? How do you intend to better yourselves?" Crystal: "Better ourselves? You hear what he said? Better ourselves? Mister,when you're from Skid Row ain't no such thing." (Song: Skid Row) Crab: "Alarm goes off at seven,and you start-up town. You put in your eight hours,for the powers,that have always been.(Sing it child) Til it's five pm..." Trash Can: "Then you go..." Company: "Downtown. Where the folks are broke. You go downtown. Where your life's a joke. You go downtown. Where you buy a token. You go...home to Skid Row. Downtown. Where the folks are broke. You go downtown. Where your life's a joke. You go downtown. Where you buy a token. You go...home to Skid Row." Trash Can: "Yes you go..." Company: "Downtown. Where the cabs don't stop. Downtown. Where the food is slop. Downtown. Where the hop-heads flop in the snow...down on Skid Row. Uptown you cater to a million jerks. Uptown you're messengers and mailroom clerks. Eating all your lunches at the hot-dog carts. The bosses take you money and they break your hearts.(Men:Ohhhh)And uptown you cater to a million whores. You disinfect terrazzo on their bathroom floors. The jobs are really menial you make no bread. And then at five-o'clock you head-" Trash Can: "By subway..." Downtown. Molly: "Where the guys are drips." Downtown. Molly: "Where they rip your slips." Downtown. Molly: "Where relationships are no go! Down on Skid Row." Gil: "Poor,all my life I've always been poor. I keep askin' man what I'm for. And he tells me,'Gee,I'm not sure'.'Sweep that floor,kid!'. Oh! I started life with my family,a child street-free,here on Skid Row! He took me in gave me shelter. A bed,crust of bread and a job. Treats me like dirt and calls me a slob,which I am...so I live..." Downtown. Gil: "That' your home address,you live-" Downtown. Gil: "When your life's a mess,you live-" Downtown. Gil: "Where depression's just status quo. Down on Skid Row. Gil: "Someone show a way to get outta here." Molly: "Cause I constantly play I'll get outta here." Gil: "Please won't somebody say I'll get outta here. Both: "Someone gimmie my shot,or I'll rot here!" Downtown. Both: "Show me how and I will,I'll get outta here." Downtown. Both: "I'll start climbin' up hill and get outta here." Downtown. Both: "Someone tell me I still could get outta here." Where there rainbow just doesn't show. Both: "Someone tell lady luck that I'm stuck here." When you get...downtown. Both: "Gee sure would be swell to get outta here. Bid the gutter farewell and get outta here. I'd move light and dark to get outta Skid. I'd do I don't know what to get outta Skid. But a bad of a lot to get outta Skid. People tell me there's not a way outta Skid. But believe me I gotta get outta Skid Row!" (Song ends) Molly,Gil,and Mr Grouper are waiting for customers. Mr Grouper: "Six o'clock and we haven't sold so much as a fern! All right! That's it! Forget it. Don't bother coming in tomorrow." Molly: "Ah! You don't mean..." Gil: "You can't mean!-" Mr Grouper: "I mean,I'm throught. Forget it. Kaput." Molly: "You can't." Mr Grouper: "Kaput. Extinct. I'm closing this clerk and customer forsaken place." Gil:(desperately)"Mr Grouper,forgive me for saying so,but has it ever occured yo you...that maybe what the firm needs is to move in a new direction?" Molly: "What Gil's trying to say is...Gil,why don't you run donwstairs and bring up...that strange and interesting new pet you've been taking care of? Think,Mr Grouper! Some of those exotic animals Gil's been tinkering around with...are really unusual. We thought that maybe some of those strange and interesting new animals...prominently displayed and advertised,would attract business." Gil: "I'm afraid it isn't feeling very well today." Molly: "There! Now,isn't that bizarre?" Mr Grouper: "At least. What kind of a weirdo animal is that,Gil?" Gil: "I don't know. I think it's some kind of puppy...but I haven't been able to identify it in any of my books. I gave it my own name though."(glances at Molly)"I call it Blue Monster." Molly: "After my favorite color?" Gil: "I hope you don't mind. You see,sir,if you were to put a strange and interesting animal like this...here in its cage,then maybe..." Mr Grouper: "Maybe what? Maybe what? Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound? Just because you put a strange pet in its cage in the window people don't suddenly-" The doorbell chimes. First Customer: "Excuse me. I couldn't help noticing that strange and interesting animal. What is it?" Molly:(proudly)"It's a Blue Monster." First Customer: "I've never seen anything like it before." Gil: "No one has." First Customer: "Where did you get it?" (Song: Da-Doo) Gil:(spoken)"Well...you remember that total eclipse of the sun about a week ago?" Girls: "Da-doo!" Gil:(spoken)"I was swimming to a Wholesale Pet Adoption that day." Girls: "Shoop-da-doo!" Gil:(spoken)"And I passed by this place where this old chinese man..." Girls: "Chang-da-doo!" Gil:(spoken)"He sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings." Girls: "Snip-da-doo!" Gil:(spoken)"Cause he knows,you see that,strange animals are my hobby. He didn't have anything unusual there that day." Girls: "Nope-da-doo!" Gil:(spoken)"So I was just about to,you know,walk on by." Boys: "Good-for-you." Gil:(spoken)"When suddenly,and without warning,there was this..." Girls: "Total eclipse of the sun!" Gil:(spoken)"It got very dark...and there was this strange humming sound,like something from another world...and when the light came back this weird blue dog thing was just sitting there." Girls: "Da-doo!" Gil:(spoken)"Just,you know,stuck in,among the other puppies." Girls: "Blue Monster." Gil:(spoken)"I could've sworn it hadn't been there before. But the old chinese man sold it to me anyway. For a dollar-ninty-five." Girls: "Shalalalalalala-oooooo-oooooooh!" (Song ends) First customer: "Well,that's an unusual story,and a fascinating animal."(heads out,then returns)"Oh,and while I'm here,I might as well take $50 worth of hamsters." Mr Grouper: "$50!?" First Customer: "Can you break $100?" Mr Grouper: "$100? No." First Customer: "Then I'll just have to take twice as many." Gil: "Twice as many?" Molly: "Twice as many!?" Mr Grouper: "Twice as many!" A second customer enters the shop. Second Customer:(excitedly)"That puppy thing in its cage,it's simply amazing!" A third customer enters the shop. Third Customer: "That creature in its cage,wherever did you get it?" A couple more customers enter the shop. Fourth Customer: "There it is,Marge." Marge: "Oh,my gosh,it's peculiar." Customers: "Thank you very much,sir! Thank you!" Mr Grouper: "Thank you! Come again! Come and look at the weirdo animal some more! It's just going to get bigger and more interesting."(to Molly and Gil)"Don't just stand there! Quick,quick! Put the cage back...what do you call the creature?" Gil: "Blue Monster." Mr Grouper: "Put that Blue Monster back in its cage in the window where people can pass by and see it. Oh my gosh! I never thought this could happen! I'm taking us all out to dinner tonight!" Molly: "I'd love to,Mr Grouper,but I have a date." Mr Grouper: "With that nogoodnik? I'm telling you...you don't need a date with him. You need major medical." Molly: "He's a rebel,Mr Grouper,but he makes good money. Besides...he's the only fella I got. Enjoy dinner. Goodnight,Gil."(left the shop) Gil: "Goodnight,Molly!" Mr Grouper: "Poor girl." Gil: "Are we still going out?" Blue Monster sneezes. Mr Grouper: "You're not going anywhere! You're staying right here and taking carr of that sick dog thing!" Gil: "I told you it's been giving me trouble. Blue Monster is not a healthy boy." Mr Grouper: "Between us,neither of us are monsters." Gil: "If I only knew what breed it was." Mr Grouper: "Who cares what breed it is? Look what it's done for business. Work. Nursr that creature back to health. I'm counting on you." Gil: "I know." Mr Grouper: "You do?" Gil: "I do." Episode 142b (The Little Shop Of Horrors) Category:Wheel